So I am frustrated. Let me start from the beginning.
The kids started soccer this week. Dusty is coaching Alexis' team. Our first game was on Tuesday and the girls did o.k. We were only able to have 1 practice prior to this and so they did as good as could be expected. Tonight was our second game. Our girls kicked butt!! They were awesome. I am somewhat of a loud "cheerer". I am also supposed to be helping Dusty coach. So I would yell to him to switch a girl out or to tell them to pass the ball to each other. The first game Alexis was very hesitant to get near the ball. But tonight she was all over it. She was aggressive and just did great. So I was cheering her on and I was yelling things like "Keep going", "Get ahead of it Lex", "Run", "Go, go, go". I thought I was helping.
But we get home and I said something to Dusty about me yelling a lot louder than the other parents. He told me that I am one of those annoying, over-competitive parents who yells at their kid the whole game. I honestly was not trying to be like that, nor do I think I was. I really was just cheering them on.
So, here is my question. Am I just offended by Dusty's comment because he is right? Or, am I offended by Dusty's comments because he is wrong? I guess none of you can say if he is right or wrong because you weren't there, but I would like some advice. This is the first time our kids have really competed and I honestly was just very excited that Alexis was doing so well. Is it wrong to cheer loud?
I also think that Dusty was frustrated, like he was in the first game, because of one of the parents who stands close to where Dusty is and tells the girls different things than Dusty is trying to tell them (basically he is the parent who didn't want the responsibility of coaching but thinks he knows best). Maybe Dusty was just frustrated with him and took it out on me.
I think that next time I might just sit on the parent's side and let Dusty coach the whole thing on his own. I will sit there and try really hard to just cheer like a quiet, submissive woman (can you feel the sarcasm?).
I want this to be fun for Lex and I don't want to be the parent who screams at their kid.
Advice anyone? I think I need it because as our kids get older there will only be more experiences like this and I think I should just learn how to behave now.
At least we don't have to play again until next Monday.
I am off to take out my frustrations on the elliptical machine!!
5 comments:
Okay - so you made me think that I'm one of those annoying parents, too, because that's how I was with Optimus Prime tonight.
This is what I think. I don't think your yelling is annoying. I guess it would be if you yelled in an annoyed tone at the girls. But you're encouraging and me being one of the parents on the field, it's nice to have someone else encouraging the kids!
As for how to handle Dusty, I think I'd just ask him if he is taking his frustrations out on you or if he really feels that way. Try not to be offended, my friend. You're doing fine - just know your hubby loves you and doesn't love mr-know-it-all-dad-who-doesn't-want-responsibility.
Thanks for the comment Her Royal Highness. I need to add a couple things to this post.
Dusty and I talked about this today and he explained to me that he felt I was yelling at the girls and not at Alexis. He said that they were confused if they should listen to me or to him. He wants me there to help at half time and to be a support for the girls that are waiting to sub into the game. In all fairness, I know nothing about sports, including soccer. So, I really should just cheer on the girls when they do good and let Dusty handle the other stuff. I do think I need to be careful not to let my competitive nature break out when I am cheering the kids on. I want them to have fun and enjoy it and I defenitely don't want to be the screaming lady on the sidelines.
Thanks for letting me vent everyone.
I am one of those loud parents, cheering kids on! My parents were the same way, and I LOVED hearing them up in the stands during all of my games! My kids say they like to hear me cheering them on. Who cares if other parents don't like it, it is your kid and you can do what you want!
You and Dusty will figure it out! I get on Matt's case when he is coaching about his 'tone' when he is 'yelling' to the kids to do something. Sometimes he sounds like his mad, but he totally isn't. Oh well...it is hard to co-coach with your spouse!
All I can say is...I AM SO GLAD we aren't doing soccer this year! Phew...but come baseball...YIKES! 3 boys in baseball, all summer! BUSY!
Hey there- I was at the game and I didn't notice anything being out of the ordinary- I heard you yell to Alexis a couple of times but I didn't think it was over the top or anything- I think they are still learning and as long as it is trying to help and teach I see nothing wrong with it. In fact 80 % of our team needs someone right beside them teaching- for reals talk about frusterated- I'm glad they say they have fun, but cmon move your butts! I know I need to enjoy it more- I want them to know everything and have the desire I had when I played and everyones different! :)
FROM THE PARENT WHO NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO HIS KIDS AS THEY PLAYED. YA I KNOW THATS A LOAD OF GARBAGE. GO AHEAHD AND COACH YOUR KIDS EVERYONE KNOWS PARENTS KNOW MORE THAN THE COACH. THAT'S WHY I NVER COACHED BECAUSE I ALWAYS KNEW MORE ON THE SIDELINES THANIN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTION. I'VE HEARD YOU YELL AND IT'S ANNOYING ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU YELL AT ME
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